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rosa_elefanteTitle: This is not a fanfiction
Fandom: Arashi
Genre: angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Disclaimer: I do not own Arashi, I only own the plot
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
nekochan25
Notes: I divided it in 4 parts, so each part is a bit short, I'm sorry :S
I'm a bit late, I know :S
So... with this third part you finally understand everything (I hope XD)
And the next part will be the next one! (I have to start translating another fic O_O)
Thanks a lot to all of you for reading <3<3<3<3
Ok.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Calm down, Masaki, calm is the secret for everything.
-Fuck...-
He cursed quietly so as not to disturb any occupants of the adjacent cubicles, but the punch he delivered to the wall wasn’t so soft, as he could feel in his right hand.
Excellent, Masaki, Excellent. Now not only your heart hurts, but also your hand. You’re a real genius.
He crouched on the ground, his weight on his heels and leaning his back against the wall, trying not to focus at the pain he was feeling, but only at his anger. Yes, focusing himself on the hatred he was feeling would be less painful. Focusing himself on how much he’d love punching Sakurai’s face, to make him crawl at his feet begging for forgiveness... Damn asshole. Fucking double agent. Traitor.
Aiba concentrated himself on the idea of giving him kneeing until he would no longer be able to fuck ‘Haruko-chan’ or anyone else.
Anger. Anger and deep hatred.
Because he hated him, right? He despised him with all his heart, didn’t he? Certainly.
And now he was beating Sakurai for what was happening and that could ruin everything, not only for him but also for Ohno, Nino, and Jun? No, he wasn’t.
Actually, he was crouched in a toilet of the recording studio trying to control himself, trying to not let out that scream, that pained sound that was tearing his chest, his stomach, every part of him.
Meanwhile, External Masaki was watching him, shaking his head in disapproval, telling him that this behaviour was not like him, that he had to act for his own good and for Arashi’s, the Arashi he loved so much. Contrariwise, Internal Masaki told the External one to fuck himself and said that it was right this way. The first... the first man he had slept with, the first man he had fallen in love with... and it had gone like that. At least he was allowed to feel like shit, right??
He gasped when someone knocked at the door. Half of him was praying it was Nino, Jun, ANYONE but him. The other half was trying to think of a plausible excuse for his behavior.
-Aiba...-
Shiiiit. Two syllables, his own name. Pronounced by the wrong voice, Sho’s.
-Leave me alone, at least when I’m in the toilet.-
He said it while trying to make his voice sound stern, trying to secure it with stakes to prevent it from slipping, from trembling, and from sounding too full of tears, pain and self-pity.
-Listen, let’s face this situation like adults, okay?-
It wasn’t okay. At that moment it ‘was okay’ to just stay in that cubicle until someone would kick him out. He wanted a hole in the ground to open and swallow him right there... although this was physically impossible. The only CERTAIN thing was that he didn’t want to go out and face Sho and the memory of lot of mails that never received a response… Nonetheless he still came out from the stall. He sniffed few times and brushed his sleeve over his face to remove any tears. After this he opened the door, trying to show as little as possible of the desperate expression his face had worn just moments before.
-You said you would leave her, that she was nothing. You said you loved me.-
No, no, no. It had to be a sharp sentence, cruel, full of hatred and despise. It had to make Sakurai feel like human shit. Obviously he didn’t want his voice sounding like that, like the voice of a child whose favorite toy broke. So... wet... sticky. Disgusting.
-But you said that you wouldn’t be involved, that you would understand.-
Sho said, seeming tired. And he didn’t sound annoyed at all... He sounded... sweet, in his being objective and realistic. Always so reasonable. But his words were indeed true. Aiba had said that to him, during that first fuck a long time ago. It happened by chance. Also during the second time, and the third, and... But, as the time passed, that sentence became more and more like a lie.
-All those mails... and this absurd behavior... these don’t mean ‘have understood’.-
Aiba nodded without a word, certain that, if he spoke, he would exploded again into one of his scenes and... no, he didn’t want to do that. Not in front of Sho.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Sho sighed before speaking again. -I know that in this period I was cruel to you and... ok, ok, I was a total asshole. But you did not have to react like that. These are things that happen, and, most importantly, it was obvious that it would end like this, Aiba. It was in our agreement.-
If Sho would have behaved more like an asshole, all would have been easier for Aiba. Instead, it was hard for him to hate this man, as he could see the concern and the confusion in his eyes. It would be hard, if Sho was going to be so damn reasonable.
-Then why did you say me that you loved me?-
Okay. This time, straight to the point. Maybe it was a bit late though. He could have asked it earlier. He SHOULD have asked it earlier.
The only answer Aiba received was silence, and an hesitant hand that lightly touched his hair, his cheek... like a man who comforted a child. A gesture that reminded Aiba of all those times that the same hand had brushed his sweaty hair out of his face, in the mist of tangled sheets.
He took a step, only one, to find himself in front of Sho. And then that tiny voice that he hated, returned.
-Just... just one last time?- Aiba whispered, carefully placing his lips on Sho’s while keeping his eyes open. He didn’t need to see himself in a mirror to see the spark of love, pain, and ‘fuckmefuckmefuckme’ that he had in his eyes.
At the beginning it felt terrible, like kissing a statue.
Sho could have punched him, moving away, telling him that, as always, he didn’t understand anything. He could have explained the meaning of ‘have understood’.
However after a few seconds, Aiba felt Sho’s tongue tracing his lips and then returning his kiss, sneaking slowly into his mouth. Sho’s hands gently placed on his hips to bring him closer.
Sho could have kicked him away.
He SHOULD have done it, probably.
But Aiba decided that he didn’t care while he was going back into the stall, dragging Sakurai with him, the kiss becoming wilder and the hands’ touch more frantic.
External Masaki raised his hands in surrender. When people didn’t want to be reasonable, there was nothing to do for him to help them.
Fandom: Arashi
Genre: angst
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Disclaimer: I do not own Arashi, I only own the plot
Beta:
nekochan25 Notes: I divided it in 4 parts, so each part is a bit short, I'm sorry :S
I'm a bit late, I know :S
So... with this third part you finally understand everything (I hope XD)
And the next part will be the next one! (I have to start translating another fic O_O)
Thanks a lot to all of you for reading <3<3<3<3
Ok.
Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
Calm down, Masaki, calm is the secret for everything.
-Fuck...-
He cursed quietly so as not to disturb any occupants of the adjacent cubicles, but the punch he delivered to the wall wasn’t so soft, as he could feel in his right hand.
Excellent, Masaki, Excellent. Now not only your heart hurts, but also your hand. You’re a real genius.
He crouched on the ground, his weight on his heels and leaning his back against the wall, trying not to focus at the pain he was feeling, but only at his anger. Yes, focusing himself on the hatred he was feeling would be less painful. Focusing himself on how much he’d love punching Sakurai’s face, to make him crawl at his feet begging for forgiveness... Damn asshole. Fucking double agent. Traitor.
Aiba concentrated himself on the idea of giving him kneeing until he would no longer be able to fuck ‘Haruko-chan’ or anyone else.
Anger. Anger and deep hatred.
Because he hated him, right? He despised him with all his heart, didn’t he? Certainly.
And now he was beating Sakurai for what was happening and that could ruin everything, not only for him but also for Ohno, Nino, and Jun? No, he wasn’t.
Actually, he was crouched in a toilet of the recording studio trying to control himself, trying to not let out that scream, that pained sound that was tearing his chest, his stomach, every part of him.
Meanwhile, External Masaki was watching him, shaking his head in disapproval, telling him that this behaviour was not like him, that he had to act for his own good and for Arashi’s, the Arashi he loved so much. Contrariwise, Internal Masaki told the External one to fuck himself and said that it was right this way. The first... the first man he had slept with, the first man he had fallen in love with... and it had gone like that. At least he was allowed to feel like shit, right??
He gasped when someone knocked at the door. Half of him was praying it was Nino, Jun, ANYONE but him. The other half was trying to think of a plausible excuse for his behavior.
-Aiba...-
Shiiiit. Two syllables, his own name. Pronounced by the wrong voice, Sho’s.
-Leave me alone, at least when I’m in the toilet.-
He said it while trying to make his voice sound stern, trying to secure it with stakes to prevent it from slipping, from trembling, and from sounding too full of tears, pain and self-pity.
-Listen, let’s face this situation like adults, okay?-
It wasn’t okay. At that moment it ‘was okay’ to just stay in that cubicle until someone would kick him out. He wanted a hole in the ground to open and swallow him right there... although this was physically impossible. The only CERTAIN thing was that he didn’t want to go out and face Sho and the memory of lot of mails that never received a response… Nonetheless he still came out from the stall. He sniffed few times and brushed his sleeve over his face to remove any tears. After this he opened the door, trying to show as little as possible of the desperate expression his face had worn just moments before.
-You said you would leave her, that she was nothing. You said you loved me.-
No, no, no. It had to be a sharp sentence, cruel, full of hatred and despise. It had to make Sakurai feel like human shit. Obviously he didn’t want his voice sounding like that, like the voice of a child whose favorite toy broke. So... wet... sticky. Disgusting.
-But you said that you wouldn’t be involved, that you would understand.-
Sho said, seeming tired. And he didn’t sound annoyed at all... He sounded... sweet, in his being objective and realistic. Always so reasonable. But his words were indeed true. Aiba had said that to him, during that first fuck a long time ago. It happened by chance. Also during the second time, and the third, and... But, as the time passed, that sentence became more and more like a lie.
-All those mails... and this absurd behavior... these don’t mean ‘have understood’.-
Aiba nodded without a word, certain that, if he spoke, he would exploded again into one of his scenes and... no, he didn’t want to do that. Not in front of Sho.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Sho sighed before speaking again. -I know that in this period I was cruel to you and... ok, ok, I was a total asshole. But you did not have to react like that. These are things that happen, and, most importantly, it was obvious that it would end like this, Aiba. It was in our agreement.-
If Sho would have behaved more like an asshole, all would have been easier for Aiba. Instead, it was hard for him to hate this man, as he could see the concern and the confusion in his eyes. It would be hard, if Sho was going to be so damn reasonable.
-Then why did you say me that you loved me?-
Okay. This time, straight to the point. Maybe it was a bit late though. He could have asked it earlier. He SHOULD have asked it earlier.
The only answer Aiba received was silence, and an hesitant hand that lightly touched his hair, his cheek... like a man who comforted a child. A gesture that reminded Aiba of all those times that the same hand had brushed his sweaty hair out of his face, in the mist of tangled sheets.
He took a step, only one, to find himself in front of Sho. And then that tiny voice that he hated, returned.
-Just... just one last time?- Aiba whispered, carefully placing his lips on Sho’s while keeping his eyes open. He didn’t need to see himself in a mirror to see the spark of love, pain, and ‘fuckmefuckmefuckme’ that he had in his eyes.
At the beginning it felt terrible, like kissing a statue.
Sho could have punched him, moving away, telling him that, as always, he didn’t understand anything. He could have explained the meaning of ‘have understood’.
However after a few seconds, Aiba felt Sho’s tongue tracing his lips and then returning his kiss, sneaking slowly into his mouth. Sho’s hands gently placed on his hips to bring him closer.
Sho could have kicked him away.
He SHOULD have done it, probably.
But Aiba decided that he didn’t care while he was going back into the stall, dragging Sakurai with him, the kiss becoming wilder and the hands’ touch more frantic.
External Masaki raised his hands in surrender. When people didn’t want to be reasonable, there was nothing to do for him to help them.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 09:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 01:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-22 02:44 pm (UTC)This chapter explain a lot, like it~~
Wait for next :D
no subject
Date: 2011-05-23 07:56 pm (UTC)I can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! :D
Thanks for sharing! :)
no subject
Date: 2011-05-24 10:28 pm (UTC)THIS explained soooooo much......
but i wanna punch sho in the face tooo....because im ias like that XD
I love this foc and i can't wait for the next!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-28 11:18 pm (UTC)cant wait to read the last part
thank you so much for sharing